Dissociation is one of the scarier symptoms of many mental disorders. For those who have experience it, it is almost impossible to describe. But I can try; I want you to imagine that your brain has an on/off switch, you don’t know where this switch is and for most of you, you may not know it exists. Dissociation is when this switch is turned to ‘off’. The thoughts that are stressing you out disappear, you may not remember them at all. Your brain is full of fog, you can’t see your thoughts properly, you can’t think properly, you can’t remember things properly. Time doesn’t seem to go at the same pace as you – it can just disappear as you sit there, in ‘off’ mode. Feelings melt away, both good and bad, and you’re left empty, and numb.
When I dissociate, I lose the tension in my body. I don’t sit up straight, I can’t smile or laugh properly, I have to fake reactions and movements. Anything more than sitting still seems out of my control, my voice lacks enthusiasm, my hands can’t grip things as well, I have no energy and no desire to do anything, no matter how much I need too. For me it comes on very quickly, and I can’t yet notice the warning signs.
So what can I do about this?
There are many ways I have found to help with Dissociation:
The first is distraction and relaxing. I need to try and get
myself out of the bubble that is my head, and focus on the outside world. The
first way I do this is by watching things. I can be watching people walk past
the house, noticing what they wear, how they walk, what’s their hair like, do
they look happy? This helps me connect with the outside world. I also watch
films sometimes, the more dramatic the better, to try and pull myself back into
the world around me.
Secondly try to physically bring yourself back. Anything safe that may shock your body, for example holding a cube of ice until it melts, doing exercise until you’re worn out, having a cold shower.
These techniques are just things I have discovered myself or from talking to others, there are many more out there! They don’t always work, but they are always worth a try.
Secondly try to physically bring yourself back. Anything safe that may shock your body, for example holding a cube of ice until it melts, doing exercise until you’re worn out, having a cold shower.
These techniques are just things I have discovered myself or from talking to others, there are many more out there! They don’t always work, but they are always worth a try.
If you’re a friend of loved one trying to help, here are some tips:
Most importantly, try and remember what is going on for the
other person. They may say hurtful things, but it isn’t them saying it, they
just have no care, no control. They are literally not thinking properly or
normally.
Be patient – sometimes you night just need to talk to them, sit with them. I know that when I snap out of dissociation, I get all my emotions back in a wave and immediately want to hug the person who was with me, even if 5 minutes earlier I told them I didn’t care about them much. The hug is the true part, the not caring is the disorder.
Distraction is very important, try get them talking about something else, perhaps a fond memory, or a funny situation you were in. Try and play a game with them, or practise a hobby.
Lastly, they might just need time to get there themselves, so just sit, and tell them that you love them, tell them you care, no matter what. Because it is those times when we need the love the most.
Lastly, if you struggle with dissociation, the most important thing to remember is that its okay, its not your fault, and it WILL pass. This isn't going to be you forever, its temporary, and you're going to get yourself back again soon.
Be patient – sometimes you night just need to talk to them, sit with them. I know that when I snap out of dissociation, I get all my emotions back in a wave and immediately want to hug the person who was with me, even if 5 minutes earlier I told them I didn’t care about them much. The hug is the true part, the not caring is the disorder.
Distraction is very important, try get them talking about something else, perhaps a fond memory, or a funny situation you were in. Try and play a game with them, or practise a hobby.
Lastly, they might just need time to get there themselves, so just sit, and tell them that you love them, tell them you care, no matter what. Because it is those times when we need the love the most.
Lastly, if you struggle with dissociation, the most important thing to remember is that its okay, its not your fault, and it WILL pass. This isn't going to be you forever, its temporary, and you're going to get yourself back again soon.
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