Dealing with Fear

Fear is an emotion that different people feel on very different levels. You have phobias, anxiety induced fear, and of course those who think they are fearless. For some people, it would take a gun to their head to feel fear. For others it’s a fear of failure, perhaps at work or at home. For me, its everyday activities; I am very scared of opening doors, and no that isn’t a metaphor, I am genuinely very fearful of a door if I’ve never opened it before. Not knowing what’s on the other side scares me. I can feel it from the top of my head to the bottom of my toes, I shake, I can’t breathe properly. Fear.

Today I have been scared all day, because this Saturday I have a very scary and ominous event coming up. Something where a lot of eyes will be on me, scrutinising my every move, and I just have to do the best I can and hope it’s enough. Something I’ve learnt over the years, is that fear cannot be pushed down. Fear cannot be covered up, and fear will not let go. It demands to be felt, but if felt too much, it will just increase. As someone who has panic attacks very regularly, which terrifies me every time, I have learnt a few ways to handle my fear:

1.       Focus on something static. Find an object; notice all the little details on it. If its pillow; what is the fabric like? What colour/s is it? Does it look rough or smooth? Would you have designed it differently if you could? Do you even like this pillow? etc. The list could go on.

2.       Talk to someone you trust. I have some absolutely incredible friends; they help me keep my little world going round. If I tell one of them about a big fear I have, and they tell me that it’ll be okay, I trust them. I believe them. I give them the control of knowing, and I can feel the pressure dissipate slightly.

3.       Stand up to it. Don’t let fear bully you. You are strong, you are brave, you are here and you are fighting. Don’t let one emotion take that away from you. Take a deep breath, inhale your bravery, and exhale the fear. Because you are not going to be beaten by this, you deserve better.

This particular event is so scary that I need to do these things pretty much all day, and I know that once the event is over, I will be happy. I will also be proud because even though fear keeps coming back, I keep beating it, one day at a time. And I know that you will too. Fear is not something you should be ashamed of, because at the end of the day, it shows that you can still care.